Spacers

On my first trip to the orthodontist, they put spacers between my teeth.

These are little rubber bands between your teeth to get them ready for braces, or to help set your teeth straight (pun intended).

If you have never had spacers, I will tell you something: they hurt SO MUCH.

Here are your poor teeth - they have been best friends for years, side by side.  Maybe one is a little lopsided. Maybe one is growing diagonally instead of straight.  But through thick and thin, these teeth have stuck together.

And then comes the spacer. 

The spacer is a disturber of the peace of your mouth.  The spacer shakes things up.  The spacer creates division. The spacer breaks up the close friendships of teeth.

The spacer creates room for growth.

Without spacers, we might become convinced that the below image is normal, healthy, good:

 This has been a time in my life for painful uprootings, for painful spacers.  For me, the past few months have been a time where I have had to reevaluate many relationships, where the only clear answer is the need for space.  The space hurts greatly.  I find myself fighting all my natural urges to rush in, repair, heal, create closeness again.  And yet, everything inside of me says, "Give it space.  Give it time."

Just like my 13-year old self, I am once again rebelling against spacers. 

Spacers provide silence.  Spacers provide aloneness.  Spacers show us who we are apart from the whole. 

Spacers show us where we might have been drifting off course.  Spacers can reveal dysfunctions or unhealthy dynamics which might have become so ingrained as to seem normal.  Spacers provide room to breathe, room to view the entire, room to heal. 

Space away from our crowded worlds, chaotic social calendars, enmeshed social patterns and habits,  shows us the inner threads of our deepest longings.  Space reveals the natural trajectory of our lives, values, beliefs. 

Spacers come before braces. 

Sometimes we need the space to see where we are, where we want to go, before we are ready to embark on a new journey.  Sometimes relationships need a space of quiet in order to reach a real place of healing and true cooperation. 

Space reveals us in the eye of our fondest Beholder - God.  Only in God is my soul at rest.  Only at rest can my soul speak.  Only when my soul speaks can I move in the direction of His love, light, joy and peace.